Weekly Wrap Up #22

Here we are again, friends. Tensions are high for a multitude of very valid reasons. Let’s take some deep breaths before we act/react, check in on our Black friends, and be aware of what we’re prioritizing right now (and speaking of prioritizing, here are some bail funds you can donate to) Let’s dive in.

This article explains why I said Black in my previous sentence instead of POC

Here is a multi-medium Anti-racism resource. Books, podcasts, videos, movies, organizations to follow. Lots of options to educate yourself in the mediums that work best for you.

If you’re like me and you love to read, here is a great list of books and articles.

I’ve added a meditation and journaling practice to my morning routine and this Black Lives Matter meditation for allies/accomplices has been in heavy rotation this past week.

As I’m writing these out, I’m imagining an audience of white women. I’m hearing women’s voices ask “What can I do? How do I talk to my kids about this? Where can I make a difference?” And that’s great. That’s important. That’s progress. But I find myself asking “Where are the white men?” Rebecca Solnit has something to say about how masculinity is negatively impacting…well, everything.

If you’ve been here for any length of time, you know I think everyone needs/deserves therapy. I’ve been lucky to find wonderful therapists at different times in my life that made me feel safe, seen, and heard; thanks, in no small part, to them looking like me and coming from (at least superficially) similar backgrounds. Therapists are disproportionately white so what are POC to do when they want to be seen and heard by someone from their same cultural background? A new app has launched that connects people of color with therapists from their own cultural background.

Here’s another app that lists Black Owned businesses near you.

Society/capitalism moves at a break-neck pace these days (this article mentions that we literally walk faster now than we did in the past!) and our news cycle length has gone from months to days. This article checks in on what we’ve been up to since the Industrial Revolution and how the pandemic is creating/forcing a slow down. Hopefully that means you can slow down and read through these resources and choose how you want to engage.

Thank you for sticking with those possibly hard but definitely necessary pieces. Here are some other random things that are keeping me occupied and entertained this week:

One of these cookies was in my Universal Yums box this month and it was so delicious that I found them online and ordered more! Can’t wait to eat them with afternoon coffee.

Did you know that Gucci makes wallpaper?! I told myself it was the silliest thing I’d ever heard but then I saw THIS and it’s absurd and amazing and I’m trying to decide where I can put it in my house.

That’s all for now. I hope this gives you some resources and some things to think about. Take what you like and leave the rest.

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other (in CT safe ways)

Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #21

Welp. Here we are, folks. This lovely image was created by my good friend and innovative education disruptor, Elizabeth and it’s one I use regularly to gauge my daily (hourly?) emotional/mental state these days.

I’ve maxed out the available open tabs on my iphone (500 in case anyone is interested) so I figured it’s time to come back to this little space and share what I’ve been saving all these months. Many of the things I’ve saved are no longer relevant or seem comically out of touch with our current reality. The oldest saved page is this one (from July 2019) about boundaries in relationships and those, for better or worse, will forever and always be important.

The next one I saved is about how Inuit families playfully teach young children to control their anger. As many find themselves home with their children full time these days, maybe this could be helpful still/now.

The next one I saved, and the final one I’ll pull from the Before Times (TM) is from July 2019. It made my cry then and it made me cry again now, reading it anew. No matter what is happening in the world, your needs are valid. Don’t let anyone: your partner, your parents, or our society, gaslight you into believing anything less. “What I understood on the other side of my decision was that there was no such thing as ruining yourself. There are ways to be wounded and ways to survive those wounds, but no one can survive denying their own needs.”

Okay, let’s move into the Current Times (TM). Time doesn’t have a lot of meaning in CT. I’ve been keeping a daily tracker of my time spent in “exile” here so I can anchor myself daily and have a little bit of structure and productivity which this article says impacts how we experience time passing.

Plagues and wars have historically created changes in medical procedures and this pandemic is no different. A crisis and the necessity of triage force new knowledge and practices. This article explains how the pandemic is doing just that.

As we’re all sheltering in place and social distancing, the former Surgeon General reminds us that human connection is vital. Lack of it can lead to depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. So check in with yourself and your people. Are you getting enough connection?

Speaking of substance abuse, are you feeling like you’re relying too much on that glass/es of wine at the end of the day? Are you just stuck in the habit and want to shake things up? Here are 17 ways to stay sober/things to do instead of drinking during the CT.

“Our touchstone is changing color. Our criteria for earning a life, a living, are mutating like a virus that wants badly to stay alive.” A beautiful piece on the seriousness and the absurdity; it can be both. Now where did I put my machete?

Groundbreaking research recommends seven ways to elevate women’s voices. Spread this one far and wide, please.

Here’s a long one so grab a cup of coffee and leisurely stroll through the history of consumerism and consumption-as-civic-duty in America.

Those were some serious and thought provoking topics so I’ll leave you with some lighter, more delicious ones.

I’m planning on working my way through this VERY important list over the next long while. Which look good to you?

This little girl has brought me joy over the past few weeks, maybe she’ll make you smile too.

That’s all for this week. It’s nice to be back here. I’d love to hear what’s making you think or bringing you joy these days, leave a comment and let me know what you’re up to!

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other (in CT safe ways),

Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #20

Hello dear friends,

Happy Friday! It’s been a helluva week hasn’t it!? I’m so glad we’re here and I hope you’re making time for some self care this weekend, whatever that looks like for you. Maybe that looks like a nice hot bath or reading a good book. Maybe that looks like donating some money to places doing good work.

However it looks, let’s keep finding ways to rest so we can keep finding ways to fight and care for each other. it’s important work.

Let’s jump in!

Speaking of getting some sweet R&R, check out this new prescription some doctors are recommending. I plan on filling my Rx this weekend!

In case you need more motivation to rest.

If you’re like me and you’re feeling a little helpless and hopeless these days, maybe these actionable ideas will help inspire and encourage you.

I’ve always prided myself on being a pretty big Pollyanna in most situations BUT that doesn’t mean hiding from and not addressing very real negative things that exist (although I definitely want to sometimes). This article is a great reframe: Activism is pure positivity.

Science is here to remind us there are small ways to create happiness and connectivity: “The mood boost of talking to strangers may seem fleeting, but the research on well-being suggests that a happy life is made up of a high frequency of positive events, and even small positive experiences make a difference.”

And if you don’t know what to say or how to start talking to strangers, never fear! Terry Gross is here (again!)

I mentioned my Sisyphean tendencies a few months ago and it’s something I’m learning to accept and manage as best I can. The picture above is a product of those tendencies: when in doubt, run up something! It’s a very literal solution to a very existential problem but it works and it makes me smile. What idiosyncrasy of yours are you learning to accept and manage? I’d love to hear about it!

That’s all for this week, friends.

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.

Weekly Wrap Up #19

Hi friends!

It’s Friday and I’m rolling into a weekend of hiking, sleepover parties (that will consist of watching musicals and talking late into the night, we are party animals!), and good food with good friends. That sounds like a lot when I write it out but it will actually be a very mellow weekend and I’m looking forward to it. What are you getting into this weekend?

Okay! Let’s talk about fun stuff from around the internet world!

This podcast episode helped me shift an important perspective. At one point in the interview, Terry Gross, Interviewer extraordinaire and general fearless badass talks about impostor syndrome and worrying about not being good/successful enough. I was floored! If this woman I’ve looked up to since I knew she existed could have feelings of inadequacy when she is so very obviously incredible, then feelings of inadequacy must just be part of the human condition! It means I can accept that those feelings will never fully go away, even if I’m as amazing and successful as Terry Gross someday. But it also means that I can, and should, keep doing awesome shit, in spite of those feelings.

I’m reading this book, also found through that podcast, and it’s thought provoking and humanizing during a time when our political climate makes sweeping generalities like “us” and “them”. Vargas is an honest, emotionally intelligent writer and his story is impactful by itself but even more so because he won’t let you forget he’s one of MILLIONS.

This beautiful and true story has been floating around the internet the last few weeks. Please read it. I wanted to cut and paste at least ten quotes from it. It’s so good and so very sadly relate-able.

““I had arrived in my thirties believing that to need things from others made you weak. I think this is true for lots of people but I think it is especially true for women. When men desire things they are “passionate.” When they feel they have not received something they need they are “deprived,” or even “emasculated,” and given permission for all sorts of behavior. But when a woman needs she is needy. She is meant to contain within her own self everything necessary to be happy.””

And while we’re on the fear-of-being-seen-as-needy subject, let’s throw in the other side of the coin: the people pleaser subject.

Lizzo’s out here speaking truth! Self care isn’t just mani/pedis. It’s getting honest with yourself, working on the bad habits that are holding you back, and respecting yourself enough to have good boundaries.

And finally, speaking of boundaries: This is a conversation I’ve been having a lot in therapy lately; where’s the line between holding strong boundaries and being a bitch? Should I care?

Where do you think the line is? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

That’s all for now, friends.

Have a wonderful weekend. Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.

Weekly Wrap Up #18

Hello Friends!

Apparently my motivation and inspiration here is coming in fits and starts. Thank you for your patience and your encouragement to keep writing. Let’s jump in!

This photo of the teeny tiny frog is from my trip to Madagascar. Walking through the forest, looking for our lemur friends, this little guy jumped across our path so I picked him up and another volunteer snapped this picture. Maybe it’s the summer weather that is reminiscent of our siesta hours in the middle of the day, when it was too hot to do anything but wade in the ocean or rest in the shade. Or maybe it’s that, this time last year, I was obsessively and nervously preparing for this trip and it feels weird not be doing that again. Regardless of the reason, I’m missing this adventure intensely recently so please check out this wonderful documentation of my time in Madagascar (and so much more!) that another volunteer wrote and let’s live vicariously together.

I’m learning that my need for adventure is directionally proportionate to my feelings of repetitiveness in my day-to-day life. Learning to embrace the Sisyphean reality that is daily existence is sometimes a daily struggle (that adds to my Sisyphean feelings..It’s really a great cycle, ya’ll). So imagine my joy when I found this article! My new mantra is Zues’ last line “It literally isn’t”. How do you show up with consistency? Is it easy? Is it hard? Do you have a mantra about it?

Do you know your Meyer Briggs type? I’m an ESFP and this short piece is spot on for me. My impulsive streak is long lived (I used to have at least two extra outfits, including shoes, in my car at all times in case an opportunity arose that called for heels or hiking boots and I have all my camping gear in my car now that the weather is amazing). But it’s also gotten me in trouble when I speak or act before I think about the repercussions. Does this resonate for your type too?

And here’s another one since we’re on the subject. How about this one? Does it fit for you?

David Bowie putting down some wisdom on how to stay true to your work.

Heimat and aware are two words I’m going to try and add to my vocabulary. I see a book purchase in my near future.

While we’re on a happiness kick, check out these wholesome tweets that make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

This incredible photography is not helping my wanderlust but it’s definitely giving me inspiration!

The 2019 Tony Awards were last week and Billy Porter crushed the commercial entertainment.

That’s all for now friends, I hope you have an amazing weekend! I’ll be at PRIDE tomorrow, volunteering with Felines First Rescue so come on down and visit and pet some pussy (cats) for a good cause! ;)

As always, but maybe especially this weekend as we head in to PRIDE and just passed the anniversary of the Pulse Nightclub shooting: Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.

Weekly Wrap Up #17

I’m back!

It’s been….about a year and a half since I stopped by this space, though I’ve thought about it often.

Since last we talked I:

• Bought a house!

• Took about nine months off of all social media.

• Visited a friend in Boulder, CO and dealt with elevation sickness for the first time.

• Traveled to Madagascar to work on a nature reserve for a few weeks and find some quiet space for my head and heart

• Went on a real solo vacation/adventure where I had nothing planned for a whole week and all the down time didn’t make me go crazy! I worked remotely a little on this trip as well and met so many people that do it full time. It’s got me daydreaming and scheming…

• Spent more time alone than ever before, and learned/am learning to relish it.

• Started using a budgeting program that has revolutionized how I use my money (and made budgeting for trips and big-ticket house projects much less stressful).

• Took a Burlesque performance class and shook my booty on stage for a delightfully enthusiastic crowd.

• Took a pottery wheel class where I learned to embrace the fact that I suck at pottery but can still enjoy the process.

• Took a memoir writing class that reminded me I have things to say and taught me that I have limiting beliefs around my writing skills that are holding me back from telling my stories. It also taught me that editors are the best.

Now that you’re caught up on my big adventures, I’d love to hear about what you’ve been up to these past months. What big or small adventures have you had?

Before I go, I’ll leave you with these two pieces that I’ve been thinking about lately:

• Regarding all the classes I’ve been taking lately and all my mediocrity that’s showed up in them; I’m reminded “It’s the doing that makes a thing worth it. It’s the chasing of joy. “

• “True creative responsibility for one’s life involves more than positive visualisation and action towards our dreams.  It also means destroying that which is no longer relevant.” What are you destroying in your life?

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other,

Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #16

Hello Friends! 
It's been a while, hasn't it? I could make some "I've been busy" excuses but the reality is, I've been following the rule I tell my kids: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. It's been a month of severe craziness around the world and I took some time to put my oxygen mask on first, unplug from things that feel overwhelming and hopeless, and focus on the things in front of me that I can support and positively impact. That being said, some really beautiful and wonderful things have happened this month also and I'm at a place now where I can appreciate and honor those things instead of getting bogged down with the dumpster fire stuff.
I got an amazing weekend with unbelievable weather at the beach with my husband, an awesome friend and cool new people. I got another amazing night with some girlfriends at the beach where we talked about emotional labor, mommyhood, sex...nothing was off the table. That type of intimacy; connecting with intelligent, passionate women that are doing their own emotional/life work and that support yours? That shit restores my faith in humanity. Then, highlights of highlights, my amazing kiddos came to visit!! It was the longest and shortest week of the year and I just don't have words for how proud I am of those hilarious, brave, kind souls. 

If you can't tell from my intro, I'm going all kinds of Pollyanna on this post because it feels good to focus on the stuff that feels good and empowering. That doesn't mean the world isn't still on fire. That doesn't mean stop calling your senators or donating to Planned Parenthood. It means I want this space to be a respite, a connection, a training of the mind to find the helpers, the good, the things you have control over, and the love. On that note, let's jump in.   

On the habits of happiness: "Look at anger itself, it looks very menacing, like a billowing monsoon cloud or thunderstorm. We think we could sit on the cloud but if you go there, it's just mist. Likewise, if you look at the thought of anger, it will vanish like frost under the morning sun. If you do this again and again, the propensity, the tendencies for anger to arise again will be less and less each time you dissolve it."

Like the above video suggests, I find that looking at your feelings and getting very specific about naming them helps them dissipate. But sometimes it's hard to name your feelings, isn't it? Am I mad? Am I embarrassed? And I just HANGRY? This list is a great place to start when you don't know what to call your emotions. 

Here's another fun way to honor your emotions, name them (in gif form!) and flow through them. My favorite might be Beyonce with the baseball bat, what's yours? 

Why self compassion works better than self esteem: The concept of self esteem is contingent on us comparing ourselves to others and on our success. When those two things aren't happening, our self esteem slips away (which is exactly when we need it the most!) Self compassion has you covered in all those areas. Give it a shot. 

Another word for self compassion is Philautia. It's one of the six types of love the ancient Greeks defined and enjoyed. I wonder how much more abundant in love we'd all feel if we acknowledged all these ways of loving instead of only focusing on Eros. 

"I am a rich pie strong with knowledge. 
I will not be eaten."
This little lady is giving me ALL the hope for our next generations. May we raise them strong and vocal.

Awe (noun): A feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder. 
This is what I feel when I look at these photographs. This is the beauty that's everywhere all the time; isn't that sort of overwhelming to think about? #11 is part of a credit card that we all probably use regularly, #4 is straight terrifying but also amazing, and #1 is human skin! Also, check out that jumping spider in the honorable mentions; does its hair/fur (I have no idea what to call that stuff) look luxurious or is it just me? It's just me, isn't it...

Write your own personal commandments: I've been tossing some ideas around for my own commandments this week but I've yet to put pen to paper. Would you like to join me in this challenge? 

That's all for now, friends. It feels good to be back here creating little love notes to you all. I'm off for a weekend of hiking, spending quiet time in my tiny van home, and meeting some new people with shared experiences to share our experiences. Whatever you're doing this weekend, I hope you do it with love.

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other. 
Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #15

Hello Friends!! 
The seasons, they are a changin'! This picture was from my last trip to Cannon Beach a few weeks ago (see my last post for more talk about that); we're headed back to Cannon Beach this weekend for some yummy food with friends and I'm expecting the view to look much cloudier.
Portland received rain for the first time in over six weeks (read, since before we started living in the van) and it brought with it the realization that our sweet van isn't completely sealed. An evening of scrambling, some wet towels, and then a few days of troubleshooting brought resolution and some new problem solving techniques to my repertoire. One of the things I've been excited about in planning for this whole crazy new living situation is stuff like this: stuff I haven't planned for, stuff we're not prepared for, stuff that sometimes kind of sucks but teaches me things about the situation and myself, and that makes me feel stronger and more competent when I come out the other side. I'd say we're off to a good start! 
Let's jump into some reading, shall we?

8 ways you can survive and thrive in midlife: I posted this on Facebook this time last year and when it popped up on my "On This Day" feed this week I laughed out loud. I'd say I've got 3, 4, and 7 going pretty strongly right now; what are you working on from this list? 

Another feel good from NPR, this little girl was living her truth out loud and was bullied because of it. Three cheers for the awesome community that came together and encouraged her curiosity and passion.

How I learned to stop being a "chill girl" and started being me: The cultural expectations on women to not be Too ____ (too loud, too fat, too bossy, too thin, too needy...) are everywhere and hard to miss. "So today and the days to come, I wish for a speedy death to the chill girl within all of us, a kiss of death to the malleable shell of ourselves surviving only on our socialized compulsion to people please. And a long and fruitful life to the woman who has patiently been waiting underneath." Amen, Amen, forever and ever. 

The two hour rule: I made a similar request on my Facebook page a few days ago, asking people to be silent for an hour and I've asked my clients to do this as homework as well. The initial reaction I get is normally one close to sheer terror at the prospect. What about you? Will you try it? 

Speaking of taking some quiet time: "Within 15 minutes of entering a forest, you are a better person". Intuitively, I've known this for years and actually wrote about it earlier this year. Can you feel the difference after some time under a canopy of trees? 

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”: Oh how I love me some Rumi. Big love is waiting, we just need to get out of our own way. 

HONY knocked it outta the park with this episode on relationships. Take a 20 minute break and get all into your feels with this one. 

That's all for now, friends. It's the Autumn Equinox today so you'll find me digging my toes into the dirt, breathing this crisp air deep into my lungs, and meditating on this: 

“When you recognize that there is a voice in your head that pretends to be you and never stops speaking, you are awakening out of your unconscious identification with your stream of thinking. When you notice that voice, then you realize that who you are is not the voice, the thinker, but the one who is aware of it. Knowing yourself as the awareness behind the voice is freedom.

~Eckhart Tolle, Stillness Speaks”

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.

Alix 

Weekly Wrap Up #14

Hi Friends!
I have some big news this week: my husband and I bought a van! Well, I guess the real big news is that we donated most of our stuff, put a few things in storage, gave up the lease to our apartment, and moved INTO the van full time! I'm sure I'll have many more updates and pictures from road trip adventures and random opportunities that show up while we're spending time in Portland, too. If you have any questions or have your own #vanlife stories, I'd love to connect and talk about them. This has been a dream we have had for a few years now and the Universe conspired for us and made it happen. 
For our first official roadtrip, we headed to the Oregon Coast for Labor Day weekend. It was 80º the whole time and the ocean was a bracing but welcome relief from the heat. Check out my pictures and more thoughts on the long weekend here.

Okay, let's jump in to some reading! It's been a while and I'm excited to put this list together for you all.

History repeats itself: "Even the greatest of nations may suffer a catastrophic leader, but the nation can survive the test and protect its resilience — if the public stays true to its values, institutions and traditions." (the caveat here is that it's time for some of those values and traditions to change. Let's modify them so they're better for everyone. We've got this). 

There's a Shut Down White Supremacy rally this weekend in Portland and this article from earlier this year will be on my mind while I'm there. It's long but inspiring; please give it a read. "Actions often ripple far beyond their immediate objective, and remembering this is reason to live by principle and act in hope that what you do matters, even when results are unlikely to be immediate or obvious."

I'm still on a brains-are-amazing-and-weird-and-wonderful kick since my concussion and this Tedtalk about a brain scientist that had a stroke is fascinating. 

"If you want to have a life that is worth living, a life that expresses your deepest feelings and emotions, and cares and dreams, you have to fight for it. You have to go wherever you need to go, and you have to be wherever you need to be, and place yourself there against the forces that would distort you and destroy you." Alice Walker on uprisings and consciousness and empathy. 

Maybe we all need a little less balance: "I think far better than striving for balance is striving for what psychologists call internal self-awareness, or the ability to see yourself clearly by assessing, monitoring and proactively managing your core values, emotions, passions, behaviors and impact on others." I like this a lot. Where do you want to be less balanced? Where do you want to go all in?

I have a gratitude journal that I've been neglecting for the past few months. It's time to put it back into my daily routine!

One of the first things I'll put in my gratitude journal this next week will be these body-love prompts. Won't you join me?  

That's all for now, friends. Oh man, does it feel good to be back here. Thank you for your patience as I've been healing up. Any fun plans for the weekend? I'll be staying in Portland for this one to attend the aforementioned rally and to convince a friend to let me use their oven (since I no longer have one) to make this delicious cake. What are you getting in to? 

One last thing: This poem makes me breathe deeply, maybe you could use a good deep breath, too. 

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other
Alix

““I Worried”
I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?
Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?
Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,
hopeless.
Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?
Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.
- Mary Oliver”

Weekly Wrap Up #13

Hello Friends, 
I'm back after two weeks of slow brain healing and, holy guacamole, what a week to come back and have conversations. 
I think this week's theme is going to be about finding the positives and looking for the good (while totally acknowledging that stuff is bad and hard, too) and I want to start with a personal story.
The concussion I sustained a few weeks ago put me through the proverbial ringer. I felt foggy and low energy for a few days after I hit my head but didn't think much of it. When I noticed I couldn't concentrate on walking across the room AND listening to a podcast at the same time and when I realized I couldn't remember most of what I had done that afternoon, I connected the dots and put myself to bed (at 7 pm). For the next 36 hours I did nothing. I couldn't look at a screen or a book without my head hurting. Noises other than the white noise from my fan agitated me. My heart rate stayed around 90bpm which made me incredibly anxious and putting sentences together took more energy than I was interested in using. So when I said I did nothing, I mean it. I ate food that my amazing husband made me with my eyes closed and I laid in bed with an eye mask on. And that's it. For 36 hours. I slept at night and dozed here and there throughout the day but, for the most part, I just lay still and silent. Friends, I've never taken that much intentional quiet time in my life and, even though it was forced on me, it was AMAZING. I've slowly come out of that caccooning time feeling more grounded and in tune with myself than I have in a long time.
My brain isn't 100% back to normal; reading still gives me a headache after a while and listening to music and podcasts still feels overstimulating so I'm just not doing those things. I've given myself permission to ease back into "normal" and also permission to evaluate what was and wasn't working for me pre-concussion. Having constant stimulation from music, podcasts, Netflix, books, and people wasn't working for me so I'm creating intentional silence every day now. And I have the concussion to thank for that positive change. 
Okay, let's jump in to some of the other crazy that's happening in our world/country right now:

Vice created a documentary that is hard to watch and really necessary. There's a name for this. It's white supremacy  and it needs to be called what it is in plain language.

But there's a place for some optimism here, too. This inhumane and indefensible rally woke some people up (yes, it's 150 years late and all of us white people should stop clutching our pearls in disbelief that these views still exist but I'm looking for ONE positive, so bear with me) and those people are calling for some changes. It's slow, it's waaaaaaay overdue, AND it's progress.
 

Because I've taken a full extra week to put this short list together, This awe inspiring thing happened this week. Nature brings people together and reminds us all of our innate sameness; the wonder on my face is mirrored in yours. I hope we can remember these fleeting moments and find joy in recognizing our shared lived experiences. 

This poem has been on my mind recently. My body craves wet grass or cold running rivers and the smell of warm sage. Where does your body find solace when it's weary? 

 

“The Peace of Wild Things
by
Wendell Berry


When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives might be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.


From The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry (Counterpoint, 1999),”

Thanks for your patience as I mend. I'm looking forward to being back here regularly again. 

Have fun, be safe, and love on one another.
Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #12

Hello Friends!

My brain still isn't back to full functioning capacity so it's another video this week!

Enjoy and leave a note in the comments about where you're starting and what steps you're taking! I'm hoping to be back to regularly scheduled programming next week and I can't wait!  

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.

Alix 

Weekly Wrap up #11

Hi Friends!

I've gone and given myself a concussion and looking at screens is hard. 

Check out this link for something a little different this week. 

Have a wonderful weekend!

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other

Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #10

Hello Friends!
How was your week? Do anything fun or exciting or out of your comfort zone? I went hiking on Mt. Hood this weekend which is a change in scenery for me. Huge open expanses of fields that, for nine months out of the year are covered in feet of snow, are not my usual hiking ground. (Get a load of those wild flowers, though!!) Give me desert trails in deep, arid, canyons or thick forests that envelope me in their underbrush on the regular and I'm a happy camper. The views from this hike, however, were worth changing up my routine and reminded me that it's good to shake things up, even in small ways like new trails. 
This week is going to be self-care and self-reflection heavy. There's a full moon coming up in a little over a week and we've got a solar eclipse happening soon after that. I'm not always superstitious and Woo-ey, but sometimes I am, especially when full moons are involved.

This summer seems to be pulling people out of their comfort zones and requiring more awareness and reflection than usual (I know it is for me!) so I'm not going to question it, I'm going to support it and run with it. Are you in? 

How to be better at stress: Stop stressing about stress! Re-frame the story and repeat after me "This stress makes me stronger and more capable of handling the upcoming situation." I know it doesn't feel like much but taking away the added stress of stressing about stress can go a long way to managing the original stress better. Should I say stress a few more times, just for good measure? 

Do these four things to feel happier: This list involves finding the positive, labeling the negative, taking action, and connecting with others. I'm all about it. 

5 common mistakes that cause new habits to fail: Are you creating new self care habits? Or maybe you're trying to un-learn some habits that are no longer serving you? This list will lead you in the right direction. Also, if your new habit involves fitness or general body health and you're in Portland, OR, please check out Bold and Badass Fitness, the owner (and person that showed me this link) is ALL about healthy habit-making and is just awesome overall!

The power of silence: (TW: suicide attempt)

“I used to find that whenever there was drama in my life, my brain would get louder. The thoughts were more controlling and dominating, the emotions more intense, and my energy zapped. It was almost like my thinking brain was sucking up all the energy from my entire body.

But I continued to feed and grow that silence by persisting and holding in quiet meditation, or nourishing it through active meditative activities that anchored it.”

Anyone that knows me IRL knows that silence is not my strong suit. It's easier to talk or listen, to absorb stimulation externally, than it is to go inside my frenetic brain and pay attention. I'm growing my capacity for silence by gently feeding those little moments of solitude, would you like to join me? 

Breath/Brain connection: One of the ways I'm feeding that solitude is by bringing awareness to breathing through my nose. The study in this article is a tiny one so I'm interested in seeing more research done but, until then, intentionally breathing through my nose does seem to emotionally regulate me faster than not doing it. Have you tried it?

How to boost resilience: This is a fantastic rundown of everything above it with some added bonuses. If you only read one article from this week, please make it this one. #4 on the list is the one I'm focusing on this week. Which one will you focus on this week? Drop me a line and let me know!

My self care things right now: Since this week is about self care and self reflection, I want to add a few of my self care things. These two podcasts are all about adventure in very different ways. They make me laugh, they make me dream, and they make me happy. I found them both only recently so I've had the wonderful fortune of getting to binge-listen to them as the opportunity arises. 

What's on your self-care list? What's not on it that you want to add? What's on it that's no longer serving you?

Have a wonderful weekend, friends. Hang out with people that make you happy but also don't be afraid of taking some extra quiet time; it's all about finding the right balance for you.

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix

 

Weekly Wrap Up #9

Hello Friends! 
Happy Friday! How did you fill your week this time around? I finally got back to doing a little of this, started a new book, and did some batch cooking last Sunday which means, consequently, I ate WAY too many meatballs throughout the week. I also communed with nature for a few solo hours last Saturday and came back exhausted and refreshed. 
Let's jump in to this list!

"There is a reservoir of untapped potential waiting to be released by you". Adding this to my List of Media to Consume when I'm Feeling Uninspired. 

The BBC added over 40 hours of Beautiful Planet II bonus video and I am seriously looking forward to spending some quality time with it. 

"Spend enough time in a state of frenetic shallowness and you permanently reduce your capacity to perform deep work" Woah! I'll make sure, when I'm watching the Beautiful Planet videos, to ONLY be watching them, and not checking my phone or Facebook...

PSA to Nice Girls: It's not rude to say no, setting boundaries is healthy, and having emotions doesn't make you crazy or invalid. I want to scream this whole article from the rooftops. BRB I'm going to practice my Resting Bitch Face in the mirror. 

Cliteracy - 21 things millennials should know about the Clitoris: Something else I'd like to scream from the rooftops. De-mystifying and De-scandalizing women's sex and pleasure is a win for everyone. 

Real men might get made fun of: Hmm looks like the theme this week is standing up for yourself and others and this link is no different.
Men, your voices carry. Use them loudly and often to stand up for those that can't. 

Trust yourself to make decisions instead of always seeking advice: Trust your gut. Value your own input. Own your decisions. Don't be afraid of making mistakes. You can always course correct. But you've got to make a choice and act on it, first!!! 

That's all for now, friends. Let's drink hot coffee and just drink hot coffee this weekend, ya know? Let's take the advice above and turn our phones off for a while, get out of the shallowness of "busy" and do some deep work. I can't wait to hear what that looks like for you.

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix

A recipe for quieting a mind

Ingredient List:

• 2 whole hiking boots (well worn is good. Brand new is good too, just add a few band aids to the ingredient list as you wear them in) 
• Enough water to keep everything hydrated
• 1 Cup adventure
• Equal parts curiosity and confidence
• 1/2 Cup silence
• A sprinkle of sunshine
• One stick sunscreen
• A dash of wild animal sightings

Steps:

1. Mix everything together, stirring gently to combine.
2. Pour into yourself and start walking. Take your time and don't feel the need to rush this process. This is a low and slow recipe, not a flash in the pan.  
3. Feel free to incorporate any add-ins that you like: dog or human hiking buddies would be a nice addition. And don't be afraid of a rain coat! It might seem like a bold choice but I assure you, it blends in well with the other ingredients. 
4. You'll know it's finished when your brain has quieted down and you have a smile on your face for no particular reason; when you're focused on the upcoming steps, what's ahead on the trail, and not all of those unanswered emails or the meal planning for the week. 

I hope this recipe becomes a beloved and well used one in your arsenal. Maybe even a weekly staple?! 
If you try it, let me know how it worked out for you and what you have added or subtracted from your ingredient list. I can't wait to hear from you. 

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #8

Hello Friends! 
This week has been filled with a quick camping trip out of town, impromptu trips to the river, and late night ice cream. It's summer for real for real right now and I want to soak it ALLL up. 
Some significant changes are happening in my world in the coming months (we'll talk about those soon!) so I'm focusing on being present and grateful for the life I've created and the people in it. Do you ever pause and find those moments? I highly recommend it. 
Let's jump in, shall we?

A musical love letter to my city to start things off in a beautiful way. I'm in need of some new music, what are you listening to these days?

How Not to be Offended: Loving detachment is a world-view that is near and dear to my heart. Is this something that interests you or you'd like to know more about? Please drop me a line and let me know so I can gauge interest levels for some upcoming workshops!

“We are all swimming in the projections and filters of each other’s life experiences and often we are just the stand-ins, the chess pieces of life to which our loved ones have their own built-in reactions. This is not to dehumanize life or take away the intimacy from our relationships, but mainly for us to know that almost every time we get offended, we are actually just in a misunderstanding. A true embodiment of this idea actually allows for more intimacy and less suffering throughout all of our relationships.”

What it's like to have pea-sized confidence with watermelon-sized boobs: A great read about how using your body can be empowering, taking up space can feel like a revolution, and how those things translate to all walks of life. 

Inviting Vulnerability: This is the playbook for my coming weeks and months.
Get present. Get open. Feel all the feels. Accept and allow all the feels. Rinse and repeat. 

Don't call it a comeback: A great reminder that ebbs and flows are a part of life. You don't need to fight it, but you do need to pay attention to your self-talk and be real about your priorities. 

Another love letter, this time to wild places and the women who adventure in them. 

This article is only here because of the adorable lemurs. But seriously, are you unplugging enough? Are you consciously recharging? or just taking the random two minutes here or there to nap or daydream? Get focused on your recovery so you can stay focused on your growth and work. 

That's all for now friends. I'm heading into the desert this weekend for some of the aforementioned recharging and to write some of my own love letters to wild places. What are you up to this weekend? What's exciting you in your work or in your recharging? Drop me a line, let's start a conversation. 

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #7

Hello Friends!
It's been another fun and fulfilling week full of fireworks, family, and friends. I also spent some rare alone time just reading, writing, and staying up way past my bedtime. The next morning I paid for the late night a little, but the rejuvenating energy from the evening made up for the lack of sleep. So much so that I'm putting a weekly Solo Date Night on my calendar. Do you have any weekly rituals that keep you grounded or make you feel good? I'd love to hear about them! 

Let's jump in to this week's list! 

Speaking of staying grounded and feeling good, this Self Care list is a handy tool. Sometimes things feel awful and simple questions with straight-forward solutions are a great start to getting back on track. 

I watched the first episode of this series and need to sign up so I can watch the rest. It's fascinating and terrifying. May we all be as curious and fearless as Mr. Maddix and may we continue to ask tough questions in the face of bigotry, and find humor when necessary to stay sane.  

In a completely different vein, a kick ass friend of mine worked on a series that is renewing my faith in community and creativity. These humans are doing what they love, even when it's hard, and writing the rules on the fly. 

This article discusses the different reasons clients seek coaching based on their age. The research shows that younger clients tend to want concrete rules and guidelines to follow as a way to change behaviors and are less interested in the "why" of things while older clients are more interested in understanding their root behaviors as a doorway to change. Where do you fall in those two categories? 

My favorite magazine issue dropped this week. Strong, powerful, sexy, celebrations of bodies. I'm all about it. 

This piece follows a girl growing into her intelligence and her interests while learning that society doesn't think she should have either. It's beautifully written and poignant. 

Oregon did this really cool thing this week that's giving me a sliver of hope. Let's keep this up!! 

That's all for now, friends. Drop me a line and tell me what you're reading and what's inspiring you these days! I'm heading off into the woods for the weekend. May you find adventure and serenity in whatever forms you need them. 

Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #6

Hi friends!
How was your week? Did you cross everything off of your to-do list? Yea, me either, but that's okay! Sometimes the things that happen outside of the to-do list are just as important. I snuck away to a secluded beach spot this week for a quick commune with nature and I've taken a deliberate break from my usual Self-Help/spirituality/philosophy books to enjoy fiction and memoirs that inspire me and make me think in different ways about words and stories. It's been a delightful change. 
Let's jump in to this week's wrap up!

What science tells us to do in difficult times: None of this is new or rocket science but they're great reminders nonetheless. I'm especially interested in the exercise discussed under #1. 

Mustard Seeds: A touching short story about hearts after heartbreak. "Pain begets life, my dear, and life begets pain.” You've got to go through it to come out the other side. 

21 or 22 tips to be a writer: #2, #7, #8, #9, #14, #21. 

Before the Internet: "You made your own fun... It was a heady time!"
BRB, I need to go make a fake FBI card.

The career advice no one will give you: "Moderate your ego. Do your best. Seek out new opportunities. Don’t be afraid to take risks. Some days you will feel good about your work, some days you will feel bad, but all days you are fundamentally the same. Ground yourself so you don’t crave constant validation, so that every accomplishment or positive reinforcement, every negative comment or rejection, doesn’t redefine who you are. Call your grandma. Do something kind."

Why self-improvement makes you neurotic: This article is one of the reasons I'm taking a break from my aforementioned reading material. Laporte says "Self improvement infers there’s something wrong with you, so you’re already starting off with a disadvantage." I don't want to walk through life feeling like I'm something that needs mending; I bet you don't either. We can always change, we can always grow but let's make those decisions because we want to be constantly challenged and moved, not because we feel broken and need to be patched back together. 

Team Galette: I'll be making these this weekend to kick off what I consider REAL summer in Portland (July 5th). We have heat waves before the 5th, don't get me wrong, but it gets warm and stays consistently warm after the 5th, I swear. I'm not sure where this came from, I think it may be a Lefler Family Truth. Wherever it came from, it's held true for as long as I can remember. 

What are you getting into this weekend? Any writing or baking or adventuring planned? Whatever you end up doing, may your coffee be just the way you like it, and may your days be long and filled with fun. 

That's all for now, friends. 
Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.

Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #5

Happy Friday Friends! 
I hope you've had as much fun as this gorilla this week (and if not, may I humbly suggest turning on loud music and dancing? I think that dude's got the right idea). 

This week has been a mix of Body Talk Workshop prep (!), reading books by powerful women, and reflecting on the cycles of seeking, experimenting, and growth. To that end, let's jump in! 

What helps me when I'm tempted to compare myself to others:  Number 1 on this list is my favorite because the transition from comparing yourself to others to comparing yourself to your past self can be simple. It can be difficult to catch yourself in a negative thought pattern and expect to make a 180º change in your thinking immediately; so, instead of switching it up entirely, why not change the comparison from someone else to yourself? Try it sometime and see what you come up with; I bet some answers will surprise you. 

Five ways to be fully authentic: In the same vein as the essay above, if you're comparing yourself to others and changing your actions/characteristics to be more like someone else, you're not being authentic to yourself. #4 on this list is the one that I come back to on a regular basis. "Stay in your lane." "Not my circus, not my monkeys."...etc are things I whisper to myself at least weekly. Just that quick check in and recognition can lower my blood pressure and frees my brain up for the important stuff like "what will be my legacy?" and "where am I going to eat lunch today?" 

90's time capsule: Can we talk about these amazing outfits and haircuts? I didn't expect to get sentimental over acid wash jeans. 

What fictional boss are you?: Are you more of a Liz Lemon or a Tony Soprano? I'm most like Jack Sparrow but I don't think my rum drinking is up to snuff. 

When life gives you trolls, make them eat their words: I am ALL here for this kind of creative use of negative energy. What negative situation can you turn on it's head? 

Pursuing the muse against the clock: I get a little weepy reading through this essay. It's a beautiful love letter from one amazing playwright (Lin Manuel Miranda) to another amazing playwright (Jonathon Larson). Jonathon Larson wrote RENT in the 90's and changed the way people thought about Broadway and musicals. Miranda wrote Hamilton over a decade later, changed the way people thought about Broadway and musicals again and, according to him, that's in large part to Larson's creative work. You never know who or how your work will touch other people. Put it out there. Please. 
(and if you don't read the article, do yourself a favor and at least watch the video! I may also get weepy when listening to Karen Olivo hit those high notes).

Speaking of music, Senator Harris released an amazing Spotify playlist and had this to say about it "No matter where you are from or what you look like, music is a bond that can bring us all together. To celebrate African-American music is to dance, sing, and even march to the rhythms that have long served as vehicles for honesty, inspiration, struggle, success and joy.” 

That's all for now friends. I hope you dance this weekend.
Have fun, be safe, and love on each other. 

Alix

Weekly Wrap Up #4

Hi Friends!
Another week is in the books and I am looking forward to sitting in a patch of sun in my living room with a mug of hot coffee, digging in the dirt, finishing some books I've been slowly reading, and taking a short road trip this weekend. That feels like a pretty great combo of activity, accomplishment, and quiet contemplation. I'm all about it. What are you getting in to this weekend?
I enjoy putting these lists together and finding themes I didn't realize were there as I collected them during the week. This week we're talking about finding the helpers and relishing the small stuff. Let's dive in!

Trenton New Jersey found some helpers in the Smith family: Dreaming big and creating long-term change. 

Speaking of dreaming big, I revisited this piece about identifying your main types of motivation. By tailoring your goals to push your motivation buttons you'll feel even MORE excited about your big dreams. Working with yourself instead of against yourself is some good help in my book. 

The Small, Happy Life: I literally stopped and smelled the roses this week thanks to this piece; and I found myself reverently present while watering my plants and watching the sky. 

Do you make fear decisions or growth decisions: This ties in nicely with the motivation essay. When you figure out your motivation type, you can also check in about whether fear or growth is guiding you. For example, let's say Social Factors motivate you so you sign up for that 10K with your friends and you all train together. If you make this decision out of fear you might be thinking "I have to sign up for this, otherwise my friends will do it without me, leave me behind, and won't want to hang out with me anymore." If you make this decision out of growth you might be thinking "I want to sign up for this because it will bring me and my friends closer, I'll get consistent social time with them, I might even make some more friends through this new community!" See the difference? Which one feels better? 

Roadtrips are one of my favorite ways to relish the small stuff. A few hours in a car can take me places that are *just* different enough from my everyday life to make me sit up and take notice. Being more aware on the road always translates to being more aware once I get home, too which is a pretty great bonus. 

We have a new Poet Laureate!: "Smith says she's been thinking, lately, about how people turn to poetry in fraught times. 'It's often those large moments where big things happen, where loss occurs — or in moments of isolation, where a voice on a page that's saying, 'I have lived, I have felt, I have questions, and I have wishes,' where that's consoling.'"
With all the craziness in our country right now, I am incredibly thankful that this position still exists.  

Speaking of people I'm thankful for, David Sedaris has a new essay that dives into his childhood, his mother's addictions, and the idiosyncrasies of his relationship with his partner. Sedaris paints detailed stories that I devour too quickly; they leave me a little melancholy most of the time and sometimes, on rainy days like we've had this week, that's just perfect.  

Finally, another helper: Rachel Maddow's interview with Rolling Stone shows she knows what she wants, she knows how to stay motivated, she knows what is important to her and what she's not going to waste time with, and she's not going to apologize for any of it. 

That's all for now friends! I'm putting on a Workshop in Portland, OR next weekend so between road trips and digging in the dirt, I'll be gearing up for this! If you're in town on the 24th, I'd love to see you there! 
Until next week: Have fun, be safe, and love on each other
Alix