Hello Friends!
It's been another fun and fulfilling week full of fireworks, family, and friends. I also spent some rare alone time just reading, writing, and staying up way past my bedtime. The next morning I paid for the late night a little, but the rejuvenating energy from the evening made up for the lack of sleep. So much so that I'm putting a weekly Solo Date Night on my calendar. Do you have any weekly rituals that keep you grounded or make you feel good? I'd love to hear about them!
Let's jump in to this week's list!
Speaking of staying grounded and feeling good, this Self Care list is a handy tool. Sometimes things feel awful and simple questions with straight-forward solutions are a great start to getting back on track.
I watched the first episode of this series and need to sign up so I can watch the rest. It's fascinating and terrifying. May we all be as curious and fearless as Mr. Maddix and may we continue to ask tough questions in the face of bigotry, and find humor when necessary to stay sane.
In a completely different vein, a kick ass friend of mine worked on a series that is renewing my faith in community and creativity. These humans are doing what they love, even when it's hard, and writing the rules on the fly.
This article discusses the different reasons clients seek coaching based on their age. The research shows that younger clients tend to want concrete rules and guidelines to follow as a way to change behaviors and are less interested in the "why" of things while older clients are more interested in understanding their root behaviors as a doorway to change. Where do you fall in those two categories?
My favorite magazine issue dropped this week. Strong, powerful, sexy, celebrations of bodies. I'm all about it.
This piece follows a girl growing into her intelligence and her interests while learning that society doesn't think she should have either. It's beautifully written and poignant.
Oregon did this really cool thing this week that's giving me a sliver of hope. Let's keep this up!!
That's all for now, friends. Drop me a line and tell me what you're reading and what's inspiring you these days! I'm heading off into the woods for the weekend. May you find adventure and serenity in whatever forms you need them.
Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix
Weekly Wrap Up #6
Hi friends!
How was your week? Did you cross everything off of your to-do list? Yea, me either, but that's okay! Sometimes the things that happen outside of the to-do list are just as important. I snuck away to a secluded beach spot this week for a quick commune with nature and I've taken a deliberate break from my usual Self-Help/spirituality/philosophy books to enjoy fiction and memoirs that inspire me and make me think in different ways about words and stories. It's been a delightful change.
Let's jump in to this week's wrap up!
What science tells us to do in difficult times: None of this is new or rocket science but they're great reminders nonetheless. I'm especially interested in the exercise discussed under #1.
Mustard Seeds: A touching short story about hearts after heartbreak. "Pain begets life, my dear, and life begets pain.” You've got to go through it to come out the other side.
21 or 22 tips to be a writer: #2, #7, #8, #9, #14, #21.
Before the Internet: "You made your own fun... It was a heady time!"
BRB, I need to go make a fake FBI card.
The career advice no one will give you: "Moderate your ego. Do your best. Seek out new opportunities. Don’t be afraid to take risks. Some days you will feel good about your work, some days you will feel bad, but all days you are fundamentally the same. Ground yourself so you don’t crave constant validation, so that every accomplishment or positive reinforcement, every negative comment or rejection, doesn’t redefine who you are. Call your grandma. Do something kind."
Why self-improvement makes you neurotic: This article is one of the reasons I'm taking a break from my aforementioned reading material. Laporte says "Self improvement infers there’s something wrong with you, so you’re already starting off with a disadvantage." I don't want to walk through life feeling like I'm something that needs mending; I bet you don't either. We can always change, we can always grow but let's make those decisions because we want to be constantly challenged and moved, not because we feel broken and need to be patched back together.
Team Galette: I'll be making these this weekend to kick off what I consider REAL summer in Portland (July 5th). We have heat waves before the 5th, don't get me wrong, but it gets warm and stays consistently warm after the 5th, I swear. I'm not sure where this came from, I think it may be a Lefler Family Truth. Wherever it came from, it's held true for as long as I can remember.
What are you getting into this weekend? Any writing or baking or adventuring planned? Whatever you end up doing, may your coffee be just the way you like it, and may your days be long and filled with fun.
That's all for now, friends.
Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix
Weekly Wrap Up #5
Happy Friday Friends!
I hope you've had as much fun as this gorilla this week (and if not, may I humbly suggest turning on loud music and dancing? I think that dude's got the right idea).
This week has been a mix of Body Talk Workshop prep (!), reading books by powerful women, and reflecting on the cycles of seeking, experimenting, and growth. To that end, let's jump in!
What helps me when I'm tempted to compare myself to others: Number 1 on this list is my favorite because the transition from comparing yourself to others to comparing yourself to your past self can be simple. It can be difficult to catch yourself in a negative thought pattern and expect to make a 180º change in your thinking immediately; so, instead of switching it up entirely, why not change the comparison from someone else to yourself? Try it sometime and see what you come up with; I bet some answers will surprise you.
Five ways to be fully authentic: In the same vein as the essay above, if you're comparing yourself to others and changing your actions/characteristics to be more like someone else, you're not being authentic to yourself. #4 on this list is the one that I come back to on a regular basis. "Stay in your lane." "Not my circus, not my monkeys."...etc are things I whisper to myself at least weekly. Just that quick check in and recognition can lower my blood pressure and frees my brain up for the important stuff like "what will be my legacy?" and "where am I going to eat lunch today?"
90's time capsule: Can we talk about these amazing outfits and haircuts? I didn't expect to get sentimental over acid wash jeans.
What fictional boss are you?: Are you more of a Liz Lemon or a Tony Soprano? I'm most like Jack Sparrow but I don't think my rum drinking is up to snuff.
When life gives you trolls, make them eat their words: I am ALL here for this kind of creative use of negative energy. What negative situation can you turn on it's head?
Pursuing the muse against the clock: I get a little weepy reading through this essay. It's a beautiful love letter from one amazing playwright (Lin Manuel Miranda) to another amazing playwright (Jonathon Larson). Jonathon Larson wrote RENT in the 90's and changed the way people thought about Broadway and musicals. Miranda wrote Hamilton over a decade later, changed the way people thought about Broadway and musicals again and, according to him, that's in large part to Larson's creative work. You never know who or how your work will touch other people. Put it out there. Please.
(and if you don't read the article, do yourself a favor and at least watch the video! I may also get weepy when listening to Karen Olivo hit those high notes).
Speaking of music, Senator Harris released an amazing Spotify playlist and had this to say about it "No matter where you are from or what you look like, music is a bond that can bring us all together. To celebrate African-American music is to dance, sing, and even march to the rhythms that have long served as vehicles for honesty, inspiration, struggle, success and joy.”
That's all for now friends. I hope you dance this weekend.
Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix
Weekly Wrap Up #4
Hi Friends!
Another week is in the books and I am looking forward to sitting in a patch of sun in my living room with a mug of hot coffee, digging in the dirt, finishing some books I've been slowly reading, and taking a short road trip this weekend. That feels like a pretty great combo of activity, accomplishment, and quiet contemplation. I'm all about it. What are you getting in to this weekend?
I enjoy putting these lists together and finding themes I didn't realize were there as I collected them during the week. This week we're talking about finding the helpers and relishing the small stuff. Let's dive in!
Trenton New Jersey found some helpers in the Smith family: Dreaming big and creating long-term change.
Speaking of dreaming big, I revisited this piece about identifying your main types of motivation. By tailoring your goals to push your motivation buttons you'll feel even MORE excited about your big dreams. Working with yourself instead of against yourself is some good help in my book.
The Small, Happy Life: I literally stopped and smelled the roses this week thanks to this piece; and I found myself reverently present while watering my plants and watching the sky.
Do you make fear decisions or growth decisions: This ties in nicely with the motivation essay. When you figure out your motivation type, you can also check in about whether fear or growth is guiding you. For example, let's say Social Factors motivate you so you sign up for that 10K with your friends and you all train together. If you make this decision out of fear you might be thinking "I have to sign up for this, otherwise my friends will do it without me, leave me behind, and won't want to hang out with me anymore." If you make this decision out of growth you might be thinking "I want to sign up for this because it will bring me and my friends closer, I'll get consistent social time with them, I might even make some more friends through this new community!" See the difference? Which one feels better?
Roadtrips are one of my favorite ways to relish the small stuff. A few hours in a car can take me places that are *just* different enough from my everyday life to make me sit up and take notice. Being more aware on the road always translates to being more aware once I get home, too which is a pretty great bonus.
We have a new Poet Laureate!: "Smith says she's been thinking, lately, about how people turn to poetry in fraught times. 'It's often those large moments where big things happen, where loss occurs — or in moments of isolation, where a voice on a page that's saying, 'I have lived, I have felt, I have questions, and I have wishes,' where that's consoling.'"
With all the craziness in our country right now, I am incredibly thankful that this position still exists.
Speaking of people I'm thankful for, David Sedaris has a new essay that dives into his childhood, his mother's addictions, and the idiosyncrasies of his relationship with his partner. Sedaris paints detailed stories that I devour too quickly; they leave me a little melancholy most of the time and sometimes, on rainy days like we've had this week, that's just perfect.
Finally, another helper: Rachel Maddow's interview with Rolling Stone shows she knows what she wants, she knows how to stay motivated, she knows what is important to her and what she's not going to waste time with, and she's not going to apologize for any of it.
That's all for now friends! I'm putting on a Workshop in Portland, OR next weekend so between road trips and digging in the dirt, I'll be gearing up for this! If you're in town on the 24th, I'd love to see you there!
Until next week: Have fun, be safe, and love on each other
Alix
Weekly Wrap Up #3
Hi Friends!
This week has flown by faster than usual and there's an electricity in the air that can only mean one thing. This world is still a little crazy and there's still unprecedented things that need our attention AND let's make sure we're keeping our eyes open for the beautiful and sane parts of this world too. Here's what I've been paying attention to this week:
Speaking of unprecedented, Alex Honnald accomplished the greatest feat of rock climbing in history this week. His interview talks about taking it seriously, being prepared, trusting yourself, and staying calm. All around good advice for life, no?
Some more great life advice: Get enough sleep and be aware of what you put in your Mind Garden. (I know Mind Garden sounds bonkers weird, but I'm gonna embrace it here so go with it.) What can you water? What can you prune?
How to Throw an Alter-Ego Party: I am all in with this idea and am scheming names and outfits for myself already.
New (Old) fossils alter the history of our species: A nice reminder that nothing we know is set in stone (pun absolutely intended) and that we have to be flexible enough to change our views when faced with new information.
Eddie the Butterfly: "I believe maybe if I learn enough small things I can change a lot of big things."
The right way to be introspective: Ask yourself not Why? but What? and you'll stay more curious and open to the answers you find.
The 36 questions that lead to love: I've got some road trips in mind for the coming months and I'm seriously considering printing this list out and just taping it to my dashboard for my co-pilots to answer in between pit stops.
That's all for now, friends. What have you got planned for the summer? Any fun trips? Any big goals? Tell me all about them in the comments. Until next week: have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix
Weekly Wrap Up #2
Hello Friends!
This week has been full of work phone calls at 7:30 am, Sherlock watching until 11:00 pm, and some emergency dental work for my husband to keep us all on our toes and to remind me that my tribe is resilient, supportive, flexible, and amazing. I'm at the beach this weekend, soaking up some sunshine and relishing in the lack of schedules. Here's what I've been reading and/or re-reading this week.
Childbirth absolutely changed the way I orgasm: A great reminder that self discovery can come in surprising places.
A snack tray to gather the family around: "'Snack Tray' quickly became a cheerful, wordless conversation about who we wanted to be in the world and how we wanted that world to be." A love story set around a low snack table and new rituals. This story reminds me of my parents who could be found, every once in a while, on a random quiet Thursday night, drinking great scotch and Ruffles potato chips together. It always struck me as the classiest and most down to earth combination, simultaneously, and is a combination I aspire to embody to this day. I swear, it just screams "LOVE" to me. I can't explain it and I don't even want to.
November 30: I read this when Molly first wrote it in November and I've gone back and reread it too many times to count. When I need a reminder of what courage, acceptance, hope, and curiosity look like, I turn here.
My boyfriend weighs less than I do: "Now, I know real love makes room for you to love yourself the way you are, and the way you want to be." May we all find this love within ourselves and within our People.
The Journey: "The stars began to burn through the sheet of clouds, and there was a new voice"
White women drive me crazy: This might be an uncomfortable read AND it's an important one.
Meet the woman who turned Anthony Bourdain into a TV star: Using the skills you've already got to create the work that fills your soul. I'm all about it.
That's all for now, friends, have an amazing weekend, take care of yourselves and each other, and thanks for being here with me. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a sudden craving for scotch and potato chips...
Alix
Weekly Wrap Up #1
Hi friends!
Portland is having a pretty awesome week of hot days, cool nights, and tons of sunshine and I'm soaking up as much of it as possible. Here's what I've been reading this week, in between stints of driving around town with my windows rolled down and focusing intently on my tan lines #realtalk
Why self compassion works better than self esteem: Let’s all jump on the self-compassion wagon and treat ourselves the way we would treat a dear friend. Wouldn’t that make life’s ups and downs more tolerable?
Practicing the subtle art of detachment: Let’s check in about how tightly we’re holding on to our stuff, our relationships, and our thoughts. And how adorable is the emotional baggage cartoon? I’ll be thinking about those the next time I get too attached to a past experience.
Humor - New Releases: Are you reading anything funny right now? In these...stressful times, it's important to find things that make you laugh. This is Just My Face and One Day We’ll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter are on my summer To-Read list.
Dedications: Because even the alphabet is precious
Make a little birdhouse in your soul: This piece gutted me in the best of ways. Real and vulnerable and questioning and moving and evolving. The story is different from mine but the feelings are universal.
The question of being alone: Another beautiful story. I love being reminded that there are a million ways to exist in this crazy, wonderful, world.
Rewards that aren't food or shopping: Let's add a side of self-care to that self-compassion we're working on. 10, 11, 13, and 16 are all on my list for this weekend. What's on yours?
Enjoy this weekend, lovelies! I'll be back next week with another wrap up. In the mean time, what are you loving these days? What's making you think?
Take care, do something that makes you happy today.
Alix