Hi friends!
It’s Friday and I’m rolling into a weekend of hiking, sleepover parties (that will consist of watching musicals and talking late into the night, we are party animals!), and good food with good friends. That sounds like a lot when I write it out but it will actually be a very mellow weekend and I’m looking forward to it. What are you getting into this weekend?
Okay! Let’s talk about fun stuff from around the internet world!
This podcast episode helped me shift an important perspective. At one point in the interview, Terry Gross, Interviewer extraordinaire and general fearless badass talks about impostor syndrome and worrying about not being good/successful enough. I was floored! If this woman I’ve looked up to since I knew she existed could have feelings of inadequacy when she is so very obviously incredible, then feelings of inadequacy must just be part of the human condition! It means I can accept that those feelings will never fully go away, even if I’m as amazing and successful as Terry Gross someday. But it also means that I can, and should, keep doing awesome shit, in spite of those feelings.
I’m reading this book, also found through that podcast, and it’s thought provoking and humanizing during a time when our political climate makes sweeping generalities like “us” and “them”. Vargas is an honest, emotionally intelligent writer and his story is impactful by itself but even more so because he won’t let you forget he’s one of MILLIONS.
This beautiful and true story has been floating around the internet the last few weeks. Please read it. I wanted to cut and paste at least ten quotes from it. It’s so good and so very sadly relate-able.
““I had arrived in my thirties believing that to need things from others made you weak. I think this is true for lots of people but I think it is especially true for women. When men desire things they are “passionate.” When they feel they have not received something they need they are “deprived,” or even “emasculated,” and given permission for all sorts of behavior. But when a woman needs she is needy. She is meant to contain within her own self everything necessary to be happy.””
And while we’re on the fear-of-being-seen-as-needy subject, let’s throw in the other side of the coin: the people pleaser subject.
Lizzo’s out here speaking truth! Self care isn’t just mani/pedis. It’s getting honest with yourself, working on the bad habits that are holding you back, and respecting yourself enough to have good boundaries.
And finally, speaking of boundaries: This is a conversation I’ve been having a lot in therapy lately; where’s the line between holding strong boundaries and being a bitch? Should I care?
Where do you think the line is? I’d love to hear your thoughts.
That’s all for now, friends.
Have a wonderful weekend. Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.