Hello Friends!
It's been a while, hasn't it? I could make some "I've been busy" excuses but the reality is, I've been following the rule I tell my kids: If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. It's been a month of severe craziness around the world and I took some time to put my oxygen mask on first, unplug from things that feel overwhelming and hopeless, and focus on the things in front of me that I can support and positively impact. That being said, some really beautiful and wonderful things have happened this month also and I'm at a place now where I can appreciate and honor those things instead of getting bogged down with the dumpster fire stuff.
I got an amazing weekend with unbelievable weather at the beach with my husband, an awesome friend and cool new people. I got another amazing night with some girlfriends at the beach where we talked about emotional labor, mommyhood, sex...nothing was off the table. That type of intimacy; connecting with intelligent, passionate women that are doing their own emotional/life work and that support yours? That shit restores my faith in humanity. Then, highlights of highlights, my amazing kiddos came to visit!! It was the longest and shortest week of the year and I just don't have words for how proud I am of those hilarious, brave, kind souls.
If you can't tell from my intro, I'm going all kinds of Pollyanna on this post because it feels good to focus on the stuff that feels good and empowering. That doesn't mean the world isn't still on fire. That doesn't mean stop calling your senators or donating to Planned Parenthood. It means I want this space to be a respite, a connection, a training of the mind to find the helpers, the good, the things you have control over, and the love. On that note, let's jump in.
On the habits of happiness: "Look at anger itself, it looks very menacing, like a billowing monsoon cloud or thunderstorm. We think we could sit on the cloud but if you go there, it's just mist. Likewise, if you look at the thought of anger, it will vanish like frost under the morning sun. If you do this again and again, the propensity, the tendencies for anger to arise again will be less and less each time you dissolve it."
Like the above video suggests, I find that looking at your feelings and getting very specific about naming them helps them dissipate. But sometimes it's hard to name your feelings, isn't it? Am I mad? Am I embarrassed? And I just HANGRY? This list is a great place to start when you don't know what to call your emotions.
Here's another fun way to honor your emotions, name them (in gif form!) and flow through them. My favorite might be Beyonce with the baseball bat, what's yours?
Why self compassion works better than self esteem: The concept of self esteem is contingent on us comparing ourselves to others and on our success. When those two things aren't happening, our self esteem slips away (which is exactly when we need it the most!) Self compassion has you covered in all those areas. Give it a shot.
Another word for self compassion is Philautia. It's one of the six types of love the ancient Greeks defined and enjoyed. I wonder how much more abundant in love we'd all feel if we acknowledged all these ways of loving instead of only focusing on Eros.
"I am a rich pie strong with knowledge.
I will not be eaten."
This little lady is giving me ALL the hope for our next generations. May we raise them strong and vocal.
Awe (noun): A feeling of reverential respect mixed with fear or wonder.
This is what I feel when I look at these photographs. This is the beauty that's everywhere all the time; isn't that sort of overwhelming to think about? #11 is part of a credit card that we all probably use regularly, #4 is straight terrifying but also amazing, and #1 is human skin! Also, check out that jumping spider in the honorable mentions; does its hair/fur (I have no idea what to call that stuff) look luxurious or is it just me? It's just me, isn't it...
Write your own personal commandments: I've been tossing some ideas around for my own commandments this week but I've yet to put pen to paper. Would you like to join me in this challenge?
That's all for now, friends. It feels good to be back here creating little love notes to you all. I'm off for a weekend of hiking, spending quiet time in my tiny van home, and meeting some new people with shared experiences to share our experiences. Whatever you're doing this weekend, I hope you do it with love.
Have fun, be safe, and love on each other.
Alix